Hey Doc,

I discovered your columns a couple of months ago and have been addicted ever since. I must say that you have quite a great deal of insight into the male-female thing and I wanted to compliment you. You’re really quite funny, too – I don’t know if anyone’s ever mentioned that. It’s refreshing to see someone deal with dating and relationships in such a lighthearted manner and be so serious and profound at the same time.

Anyway, here’s what I’m writing about. I am a 50-year-old man. I’ve had a crush on Sienna since I was 12. (I know this sounds weird, but it’s true.) She recently lost her parents, who she cared for because they were elderly. Sienna is 51, was never married or had kids. I recently discovered her profile on a computer-dating network. Years ago she used to be plump and had very poorly dyed hair and bad teeth. Now she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Her hair has been done beautifully, her teeth have been fixed and she’s lost 105 pounds! In other words, she’s had a very expensive makeover. But here’s what disturbs me. Sienna is saying on her profile that she is 37 years old, and I have to admit that she does look like she could pass for that age. She doesn’t know that I know about her deception, by the way.

Sienna and I have not been in touch for a long time, Doc, but I could never get this woman off my mind. We never had a romantic relationship, by the way. I feel that this is the time to finally try and make something happen, but I keep thinking about the fact that she’s lying about her age.

Do you think that it’s ever too late to hook up with someone that you’ve always been interested in? Would the fact that she’s lying about her age disturb you? Can you give me some coaching?

Remington - who was shocked to see the new her

Hi Remington,

The reason I use humor in my work is because I have to get past the male ego. And I have found that if you can get a guy to laugh at himself — hopefully when he’s not in a big crowd — he will accept the truth more readily. It’s much easier to listen to somebody who can make you laugh rather than to a psychiatrist, who can be very serious and boring.

Let’s move on to your question. And before we begin, remember that you’re not a 50-year-old man. You’re a young man, Remington. You’re 50 years young.

So you’ve got a thing for Sienna, a 51-year-old lady who’s never in her life found a guy to love her. And she’s never in her life found a guy that she could love. Don’t you find this a little unusual, pal? To me, this is a huge RED FLAG. I’m the biggest opponent of divorce in the western world, but like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “I wish she had at least one under her belt.” And like my cousin Rabbi Love adds, “My son, you have to wonder about a woman who’s never been kissed.”

But now she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Well, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “It’s amazing what $25,000 and Doctor 90210 can do!” Now this is something to remember for all those women out there who look like a mess. If you really want to improve yourself physically, think of all the things you can do nowadays to help yourself. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Look at what a person has available in America today!”

So if Sienna has gorgeous hair and straight white teeth and the rest of her body is all buffed up now, she probably could pass for 37. Good for her. But a large segment of women in this country lie straight through their teeth about how much they weigh, which is a lot worse than lying about their age. But you have to realize too that everyone in America lies about their age because we’re a youth-oriented society and most people are desperately trying to hold on to their youth.

What I have to wonder, though, is whether Sienna is after some 24 to 35-year-old guys by pretending to be 37 years old. That’s the second big RED FLAG I see here. Let’s face it, dude: the only reason she’s fibbing about her age is to attract younger men – not some 60-year-old geezer.

What I would do if I were you, Remington, is keep your mouth shut about the age issue. Don’t even bring it up. Don’t make it into a big deal. But remember that the fact that she’s lying about it is indeed a red flag.

Lots of women lie about their age. And to be fair about it, lots of guys lie about themselves too. On the Internet dating sites they’re saying that they’re five feet nine when they’re really five feet seven. It’s the same thing. So I’d let that one slide for now. But I’d keep an eye peeled for any type of exaggeration she makes in the future, and I’d listen very closely to every word she says. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “When she starts telling people that she’s the past Miss South Carolina, you know she’s a loon.” So go ahead and contact her through this dating web site and get her to Starbucks.

Remington, it’s never too late to hook up with someone you’re interested in as long as you didn’t have a relationship with her on a romantic level in the past. Put her lies about her age into cold storage, at least for the time being. That said, I don’t like people who lie. On the other hand, in America if she’s five feet six and she weighs 140, she’s going to say she’s five feet seven and weighs 130. That’s just the way it is.

Remember, guys: as long as you’ve never dated her, you can always take a shot at her.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I’ve been a follower of your work for over three years. I’ve memorized “The System” and keep up with your weekly articles, and I even watch old Cary Grant movies. I can’t tell you what a huge difference your words have made for me both with women and in everyday life. This stuff is golden, Doc.

I recently graduated from college and took a job in another city. I was asked by a female friend to live with her and another female friend, Rhia, who I only met a couple times before. Since I didn’t know anyone in the city, I agreed. Rhia and I hit it off right away, and my use of your principles has kept her Interest Level rising for the past few months.

I reveal information about myself to Rhia in small doses. I try and steer the conversation to her mostly and to ask the right questions. She recently said, “I feel like you know a lot about me and I know nothing about you.” She regularly tries to ask me personal questions, but I stick to “The System” and reply with witty comments, playful jokes, or my best Cary Grant impression.

I realize that lots of couples live together, but usually after one or more years of dating. Your techniques say to take your time, but there was no way to see this coming when I agreed to live with these girls. I work full time and Rhia is a student, so we’re not together during weekdays. But we do see each other basically every evening. Rhia usually asks me to watch a movie, go for a run, or whatever. She’s even picked up some of my interests in order to spend more time with me.

Rhia and I have a lot of fun together, even when we’re doing unexciting things. After a few months, it’s just getting better between us. She regularly talks about the future and what we should do together. She’s also brought up the possibility of official dating. We’ve kept our feelings about each other to ourselves and our other roommate doesn’t know what’s going on. I’m doing my best to take it slow and stay a Challenge.

Doc, Rhia’s Interest Level is through the roof. However, there are lots of potential land mines in this situation. I don’t want to give up on a good thing just because of our living arrangement, especially with her interest hovering around 90%. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Franz - who’s stuck in a very tricky situation

Hi Franz,

Thank you very much for the compliment about my work. What you point out is what a lot of men don’t realize: “The System” is not just about asking Caprice for her home phone number. My techniques carry over into EVERY OTHER AREA OF YOUR LIFE. You’ll see positive results not only in your personal life but in your business endeavors as well, and if you absorb my principles you will be a more confident man in general.

The fact that Rhia knows nothing about you and you know all about her is the way it should be, dude. It means that now you have the advantage. But of course you always have to remember that she holds the rejection card. But keep doing what you’re doing, Franz, and you’re going to be all right. At least for the time being you’ve got the upper hand. The trick is to keep it.

The witty comments, clever jokes and Cary Grant impressions are also wonderful. And they’re what you’re going to still be doing after 45 years of marriage, pal. Because like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “What got her, keeps her.”

It’s likewise great that you’re having all kinds of fun together. Always make sure that Rhia asks you to do stuff. Don’t ask her to do anything. The point is to make sure that you keep this girl constantly chasing you. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “If she’s constantly pursuing you, she can’t be thinking of rejecting you.”

The one thing you don’t mention here, Franz, is how old this girl is. But you say that she’s a student, which leads me to believe that she’s within the dangerous age bracket – 18 to 22. And you guys know, if you’ve read my materials, what I say about girls in that age range. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “If they’re not loons, they don’t even know what’s in their own minds.” So watch your own Interest Level and keep it under control, buddy.

That said, picking up your interests is what a Flexible Giver does when she has high Interest Level in a man. The fact that you guys are having a great time even when you’re doing unexciting things is extremely important. Know why? Because it means that it doesn’t matter what you’re doing with this girl for her to want to be with you. It means she has high Interest Level in you, not in how much money you’re spending on her. You can be peeling potatoes or walking your dog and it wouldn’t make any difference to her because she’s interested in you for you. When you go out with a Mercenary, all she’s concerned with is whether you’re going to the best restaurant in town and whether she’s going to be able to order the lobster francaise or the filet mignon.

It’s fantastic that Rhia talks about the future. Because usually the opposite is true — guys always want to talk about the future. Guys always want to yak about things, thinking that this is going to entice the woman to want to stay with him. What he doesn’t realize is that this makes him a boring pushover.

It’s so much better if she does the talking about the future because, again, she’s the one holding the rejection card. And while she’s talking about all the great activities you two should be doing in the future, the last thing on her mind is getting rid of you.

So what you’re going to do here, Franz, is not “officially date.” You’re going to keep this thing with Rhia at status quo until she’s going absolutely nuts. But keep in mind that you have another roommate you have to contend with. And like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Hopefully she ain’t no Blocker.”

Franz, if Rhia is truly a keeper, you might want to think about moving out of that house. The point is just to test her. Watch her reaction when you tell her you’re going to move. To you Psych majors, what you’re really doing is checking to see whether she goes berserk at the thought of you being away from her. If she says, “Oh, no — please don’t leave me, Franz,” then you know you’re in good shape.

Remember, guys: if you’re a Challenge, she’ll never want to leave you.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I’ve been going out with Romy for a year and a half and just recently she’s given me a reason not to trust her.

She had always been very real with me. I’ve always hated when other guys talk to her. I know I can’t do anything about it, but I simply do not trust single guys around her. Anyway, she just started college, and she met several new guys who happen to be in her group. They had to meet outside of school for some projects, and in the beginning I overreacted about it but then got over it.

For the past couple of days now I’ve gone into Romy’s e-mail and found messages that she wrote to one of the guys about going to the beach and hanging out with him behind my back. I got very angry about it but I didn’t call her on it right away. First I asked her if she’d been talking to any of these guys about hanging out or if they asked her out, and she kept saying no. I just wanted her to admit what she said to this guy, but she refused.

After I admitted looking at her e-mail, Romy finally broke down and said that the whole thing had only been an inside joke. She added that I would never have believed her if she told me the truth and that she would have felt the same if I did the same thing to her behind her back.

Long story short, I need to know if I should just dump Romy now and be done with it or give her another chance to make things faithful between us. I really want to be with her, Doc, but I also hate to be played on. I don’t believe her and she has lost my trust.

The Bull - who doesn’t like being gullible

Hi Bull,

It’s okay, if not natural; to dislike other guys talking to your girl. I just hope you didn’t put on a long face and pout whenever guys were putting the moves on her. Because what happens if you toss a hissy fit is that you show the girl that in the future if she ever wants to control you or get to you, all she has to do is talk to another guy. Like my cousin General Love says, “What you’re actually doing when you lose control of yourself is giving her information and ammo for future battles – that she’s going to win!”

So you’re going about this all wrong, Bull. You have to realize that all single guys are after Romy and that’s fine. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “That’s just a fact of life when you have someone who looks like Kate Beckinsale hanging off your arm.” But don’t worry about all those other guys. To you Psych majors, it’s her you have to worry about. How does she react to all this attention? Does she tell these other dudes that she has a boyfriend and try to keep them at arm’s length? Or does she lead them on because she digs the strokes?

If Romy just started college, that makes her either 18 or 19, right? My friend, this girl is just a baby. Unless she’s an exception to the rule, she doesn’t even know what’s in her own mind at that age. What have I told you guys a million times about 18 to 22-year-olds? The word, in case you forgot it, is TROUBLE.

When you overreacted about Romy’s new group of classmates, did you let her see how it got to you? I’m sure you did. When you plant a seed like that in her mind, it grows, so that the man who is insecure and jealous and possessive sets himself up for a fall with a girl who might normally be trustworthy. Bad move, Bull.

But we don’t know yet whether your girl is trustworthy. So — is Romy trustworthy? Well, let’s see what we know. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “We know that she wants to wear a thong, jump up and down in the sand and play volleyball on the beach with this other guy.” What does that tell you, Bull?

It’s okay to get angry with Romy, just don’t get angry in front of her. What you were doing was indirectly accusing this girl of cheating. If she wasn’t cheating, it only showed how insecure you are. But if she was unfaithful, she has to lie to you anyway. So you’re in a lose-lose situation here, Bull. What’s the difference if she told you she talked to this guy or not? But you have to face reality: if she wants to go to the beach half-naked and party with this one guy and it’s not a group school function, you’re OUT.

Sure, all of Romy’s e-mail correspondence was an inside joke – between her and the beach boy. And you’re the outsider, Bull. You’re the one who’s not in on the big laugh. Of course you wouldn’t have believed her if she told you the truth about what happened – who would? I got news for you — nobody would.

So, Romy would feel the same if you starting fooling around behind her back? What’s that supposed to mean? Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “Have you noticed that when these babes are playing with your head they always add cute little taglines that mean absolutely nothing?”

But despite what went down, you’d like to give Romy the chance to be faithful to you. How could she be faithful if she has low Interest Level? Of course you don’t want to be played on, Bull, no guy in his right mind would. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “What you have to understand, dawg, is that she’d rather be at the beach with the younger guy than an uptight geezer.”

Remember, guys: when a girl loses your trust, you can never get it back.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I am a disciple of “The System” and want to thank you for what you’ve done to even up the playing field for us guys.

My question is simple: is it ever okay for a woman to slap a man? Not too long ago my ex-girlfriend, Lisabeth, and I got into a really heated argument after a night of drinking, and she slapped me. This wasn’t the first time it happened. She did it twice before (once sober and once drunk) in our two-year relationship. The latest slap caused another huge fight (about, among other things, her baggage, which happens to be father issues), which lowered my Interest Level gradually over time to the point where I became distant and we then broke up.

I get varying opinions on this from different people. Is it ALWAYS a no-no for a woman to slap a guy? Are there any exceptions?

Here’s another related question. How important is a girl’s relationship with her father? In Lisabeth’s case, her old man was an alcoholic who wasn’t physically abusive, but more verbally abusive and aloof to his kids. Should a woman who has an abusive father be stayed away from completely? My ex was passive-aggressive and codependent with me as well. And as you said in your book, when a girl has excess baggage, this wears on a guy and his Interest Level drops.

That said, Lisabeth was hard to give up on because she had a lot of the other good qualities preached in your book. And she was gorgeous, to boot.

Do you think I made the right choice, Doc? Thanks so much for answering my questions.

Butchie - who feels like he just climbed out of a boxing ring

Hi Butchie,

Making sure that the playing field is even for guys is what “The System” is all about. When it comes to dating and relationships, men are at a distinct disadvantage. Like my cousin General Love says, “It’s the equivalent of winning the Golden Gloves, then getting in the ring with Mike Tyson and thinking you actually have a chance.”

Is it okay for your girl to lay her hands on you in a non-affectionate way? It’s NEVER NEVER NEVER okay for a woman to slap a man under any circumstance. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Dog, you don’t hit animals and you don’t hit people.”

Butchie, you shouldn’t have been boozing excessively with Lisabeth. You indulge in a whole “night of drinking.” Sensible, civilized people have one or two drinks and then stop.

Now let me get this straight — this wasn’t the first time you got popped in the kisser by Lisabeth and you hung around for more? Gosh, Butchie, you’re just as dumb as your ex! You can rationalize being drunk, but you can’t rationalize being sober and smacking someone in the face. And by the way, how come you spent two years with this girl? You should have read her a lot sooner. Are you sure you got the right book?

Here’s the problem with a woman who’s saddled with “father issues.” When you meet a girl, you naturally want to pump up her Interest Level and keep it in the 90s. On the other hand, you have to realize that there are things you can’t change. If a woman doesn’t have Integrity and character coming in, you’re not going to change her. If she’s a taker and she’s hardheaded, you’re not going to change her. And so forth.

But the next part is what I call “baggage and scars.” Lisabeth has both. So being punched out is what you’re going to have to put up with if you want this kind of woman. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “My son, you have to deal with the sins of her past.”

Hopefully it was you who did the dropping here and you told Lisabeth why you were doing it. Like I said earlier, it’s ALWAYS, 100% of the time, a NO-NO to slap a guy. There are NO exceptions EVER. If a woman or a man gets hit at any time during a dating relationship, they should turn around and RUN the other way. FOREVER. And there is never an excuse for someone to hit the opposite gender.

A woman’s relationship with her father is super-important. If she has a good mother and a good father and they’re still in love with each other, that positive image will flow down to you, and she’ll have the unconscious desire to replicate the experience. If her father possessed the male strength qualities that made him a great dad, she’ll recognize those in you and she will – and please take this the right way – want to marry someone like her father because of the powerful, positive impression that he projected. So that’s exactly what she’ll say to herself: “Give me a husband who’s like dear old dad!”

But like my cousin Sal “the Fish” Love says, “Lisabeth’s daddy sounds like a real fun guy.” Both physical and verbal abuse are equally terrible, Butchie. Not that I’m playing down physical abuse in any way, please don’t get me wrong. But a father who’s doesn’t play with his kids, who doesn’t hold his kids and read to them, who isn’t constantly telling his kids how intelligent and perfect and beautiful they are, isn’t a good one. Because those are the strokes that fathers and mothers should be giving their kids from the time they’re born until they’re five years old. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “If a child gets those strokes, he or she won’t grow up to want to hurt somebody.”

Should an abused woman be stayed away from? Well, Butchie, if you had a choice, what would you do?

You should have picked up on this woman’s passive-aggressiveness and codependency issues early on and stayed away from her. Far away from her. To you Psych majors, when you’re dating a girl, you’re not there to be her psychiatrist or her punching bag. And yes, with heavy baggage Interest Level plummets. It happened to you.

I don’t care if Lisabeth was Mother Teresa’s twin in all the other areas of her life, you still can’t hit people. And don’t worry – if she’s so beautiful, she’ll easily find some other dude to rationalize her slapping compulsion.

Do I think you made the right choice? My friend, you couldn’t have done better.

Remember, guys: when she takes a swing at you, you take a walk.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I just became your fan a week ago when looking for coaching regarding my recent breakup with my girlfriend.

Destiny is 21 and I’m 30. When we met she didn’t want to go out with me because of the age difference and because she wanted to keep seeing her ex-boyfriend and be free to meet new guys. I told her that she could do whatever she wanted, but that I was just going to show her what type of guy she was going to let go.

It worked. She immediately dug me and for three months we had the greatest relationship. She was constantly telling me how lucky she was to have me, she’d beg me to never stop loving her, and she even made me sign a virtual contract saying that I would never leave her.

Then she went to Russia to do some volunteer work. She told me she was sorry to leave but that she’d be back soon and we would be together forever. I was the happiest man alive. When she was in Russia, she told me by phone and e-mail that she missed me and couldn’t wait to see me. She even told me she couldn’t live without me.

Well, when Destiny came back she was completely different. She became so inexplicably distant that when I’d touch her she would make as if I were Quasimodo. Her kisses were empty. She told me she’d changed, and that she needed space to come back gradually and would have to fall in love with me all over again. I waited a week, but she was still treating me super cold. When I asked her what happened, she said that we weren’t a couple anymore, that we would never be together again, that she wanted to be free, travel, and meet guys and that she couldn’t do it with me because she would be unfaithful.

Since I had her password, I checked her e-mail and sure enough, there it was — a letter from her to a guy she met in Russia, telling him that she broke up with me, how happy she was that she wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore, and that she only loved me because she’d needed to be loved but when she got what she wanted from me she lost all interest.

Doc, I’m still very much in love with Destiny and I already forgave her for cheating on me. What I want to know is this: if we were so much in love and our relationship was so great, how could she let everything go down the drain for a guy she won’t even see because he’s so far away? What did I do wrong? When you talk about Interest Level, is it the same as love? How could love die so quickly?

Hector - who’s heartbroken in New York

Hi Hector,

Destiny’s 21 and you’re 30? Right off the bat you’re in TROUBLE, man. Remember what I’ve told you about a million times before? When they’re 18 to 22 they’re nothing but TROUBLE. But you’ve just discovered me so you have an excuse. If you’re 30, you should be with a 27- to 30-year-old.

Now if Destiny wants to see her ex and meet new guys, right there she was telling you loud and clear that you’re out FOREVER. Gee, it was nice of you to tell the girl that she could do what she wanted. You mean as if she wouldn’t anyway? You mean you gave her permission? Think about it now: this girl is not interested in you and you’re giving her permission to do what she wants. I smell a little bit of Macho Boy in you, Hector.

When Destiny was all over you, you still shouldn’t have signed that so-called virtual contract. When you did, you completely gave away CHALLENGE.

Then she traveled all the way to Russia. Long-distance relationships don’t work, my friend. There’s no other way to say it. And like my cousin Sal “the Fish” Love says, “She was sorry she had to go, but not sorry enough to stay.”

Sure you were the happiest man alive when she said you’d be together forever – temporarily. And don’t forget, like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Yo, dawg, if she couldn’t live without you, she wouldn’t be in Russia.”

When she came back stateside, Destiny didn’t completely change. You’re going out with a baby. She’s 21, dude. And by the way, Quasimodo, you shouldn’t be touching this girl anyway,

Destiny can’t fall in love with you again. Once Interest Level drops below 50%, you’re OUT, guy. You waited a whole week before you got in touch with her? Wow – what Self-Control! Hector, you should have waited a year. And you should have erased her e-mails and not talked to her until she was banging on your door and begging on her knees to see you.

Now let me get this straight. After Destiny told you that she needed to travel, date a million guys, wanted nothing to do with you ever again, and warned you that she was going to be unfaithful, you mean it still didn’t sink in that you were dumped? I guess she wasn’t obvious enough. She was just kind of beating around the bush, right?

Listen to Destiny’s own words: when she got what she wanted, she lost all interest. To you Psych majors, when you’re an open book, predictable and too available, they all lose interest.

But you were big enough to forgive Destiny for cheating on you. How on earth do you forgive someone for cheating on you? It’s impossible. Know why? To forgive and forget are the same things, and you will never forget what she did. And if she did take you back, four to six months down the line you’d be thinking about what she did over and over and over again. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “Some things never stop preying on your mind.” And like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Unless a woman is loyal, she’s worthless.”

You were head over heels in love, Hector – she wasn’t. She’s just a little girl fooling around with as many guys as possible. Now you know what she volunteered to do in Russia – kiss another guy! And like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Just think – the new guy is on the other side of the world and he’s ahead of you!”

What did you do wrong? Everything. You came on too heavy too fast and you gave away the store like 90% of the men out there.

Yes, Interest Level is the same as love. At one time this girl had high Interest Level in you, but you blew it by being too mushy.

Hector, you should have found me sooner and memorized my materials. Now it’s too late. But you’ll be better prepared to deal with the next girl.

Finally, like my cousin General Love says, “Love didn’t die quickly. It died in Russia.”

Remember, guys: if you don’t go in slowly, your destiny is to lose her.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

First I want to say that I’ve been a fan of your weekly letters for some time and applaud what you have created. Finally, men have the tools to succeed with women. But despite all the wisdom I’ve acquired, there is one problem I’m still having, which I guess shouldn’t be a problem to begin with. As typical as it seems, I really have no idea what to do or how to stop it. Here’s the situation.

About a year ago this summer, I was finishing my last semester in college where I had to study abroad. The group I was traveling with there was very small and consisted mostly of women. There were some very attractive females and I was able to get the one that captivated me, thanks to what I learned from “The System.”

Her name was Cerise. Cerise wasn’t like most of the women I dated in the past. She could be called the “Gaming Girl” because she was heavily into Japanese Animation, video games, role-playing, etc. These are interests I also held, by the way. Cerise was extremely beautiful, talented in art, and had many other qualities that blew me away.

In the back of my mind I always knew this was nothing more than a summer fling at best and I tried to enjoy it for what it was. But it turned out I was wrong. Gradually things started becoming more serious between Cerise and me. We saw one another every weekend up until she had to leave the country because she was studying abroad for another year. Naturally we did try a long-distance relationship that worked for a while, but eventually it seemed we didn’t have time for one another. The breakup was mutual, and for about three months we stayed in communication as friends, but even that died down.

Being back on the market I started to date around, but I was always thinking of Cerise. I even had dreams about her. Doc, I need to know what this is all about. Am I just caught in old memories of someone I had a deep connection to? If so, how do I get over this and move on with my life?

Thanks in advance and keep up the good work.

Mikey - who’s a very confused man

Hi Mikey,

It was fantastic that your study group consisted mostly of women. This is exactly what you want! To you Psych majors, get yourself into some activity where most of the other people involved are of the female persuasion, especially the attractive ones. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “There ain’t nothin’ better than bein’ the only rooster in the henhouse!”

You’re very lucky that you had the same interests as Cerise. Not only were you attracted to her, but also you had things in common, which most people don’t, even when they get married. And it’s likewise nice that this girl had all these great qualities that you admired. But you have to remember something: she’s EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. And you know what that means — every guy in the world is after her. So you’d better be armed with powerful weapons when you prepare to do battle with this dangerous creature. Because like my cousin General Love says, “With a Beautiful Woman, you’ll always be operating from a position of weakness.”

Mikey, not being content to accept this relationship for what it really was –just a summer fling — was your big mistake here. You and Cerise were from different countries and you were inevitably going to part. Guys who hook up with women who are just going to be around for a couple months think they can control their emotions, but I’ve got news for you – you can’t. You might – if you have some Self-Control – be able to control your mouth when your emotions might prod you to say something stupid. But you cannot control your emotions.

Some guys I know in Las Vegas used to date exotic dancers. And I warned them that those girls were trouble. But their response was, well, we’re just going out for a fun time – no way we’re getting serious with these babes. But after three or four months they found themselves falling in love with the dancers. And like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “If you don’t watch yourself with a certain type of woman, you’ll find yourself broke or dead.”

The point is that you have to know whom you’re falling in love with. And you better make sure that she’s going to be around if you’re going to let yourself get involved. So when you found out that Cerise would be studying abroad for another year, right then and there you should have told her, “Have a good time, honey, and if you ever move to my town, give me a call.”

Of course it petered out between you and this girl. Like I always tell you guys, when you date someone, you can only be 25 to 35 miles away from her MAX. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Distance is a deal-breaker.”

Now wait a minute here. You say that this breakup was mutual. Dude, breakups are never mutual. One party always leaves the other, and odds are Cirise left you since Beautiful Women never get dumped.

And why would you want to remain friends with someone you had a romantic relationship with? You could be friendly with her, but why be friends? Waste of time! And of course that crapped out too. Which goes to prove the old Chinese proverb: “Out of sight, out of mind, grasshopper!”

You were always obsessing on Cirise because she got your Interest Level way up into the 80s and then she got rid of you indirectly. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “The dreams you’re having are just your ego working against you.”

What’s it all about? Well, Mikey, you’re a human being, not a robot. And yep, you’re just caught up in old memories of someone you had a deep connection to once upon a time. But the saddest part is this: you and Cirese started out from the same place. You thought you could keep it light, but you ended up falling in love with someone who was going to disappear. So this thing was dead from the beginning. Let me say it again: WASTE OF TIME.

How do you get over Cirise and get on with your life? Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “My son, memorize Doc’s principles and find a replacement!”

Remember, guys: if they’re going to move away later, don’t fall in love.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I’ve been following your columns and advice for four years. I first want to thank you for helping me better understand women. But more importantly, I want to thank you for helping me become a better man. Prior to your advice, I thought women were supposed to accept me for who I was. Lame. Now I know the only worthwhile goal in life is to strive to be the best man I can possibly be, and in doing so, find and keep the woman who fits the Dating Dictionary’s criteria.

Recently Rachelle, an old girlfriend, e-mailed me out of the blue. I haven’t seen her in five years. We used to work in the same city, but Rachelle was offered a position out East (where she’s from) and I stayed in my home state here in the West. We both decided (reluctantly) to try and make a long-distance relationship work. It didn’t. I turned into a needy wimp over the telephone and she seemed to lose interest. The more distant she became, the more needy, whiny, and wimpy I became. After a few months of her indifference, I told her that I didn’t want to continue our relationship. But like the good little Wimpus Americanus I had become, I continued to call and e-mail her while still trying to figure out what the hell went wrong.

Then I found your books and learned. I stopped contacting Rachelle. After a few months of not hearing from me, she started e-mailing me, telling me she was thinking of me and missed me. I gave her very little in return because she didn’t say that she wanted to give us another shot. Then our contact petered out again.

Just last week Rachelle e-mailed me again and said that she was thinking about me, was wondering how I was doing, and told me what she’s been up to (there was mention of a dog but no boyfriend). It’s been two years since I last heard from her. I could have spent the rest of my life with no intention of contacting this woman, but after hearing from her, memories of what it was like when we were together came back. They are good memories.

Why after all this time would a woman renew a conversation that has been dead so long? If she still has feelings for me after all this time, then I want her to say so. Is she afraid of saying too much until she knows what I feel for her? Remaining aloof in my e-mail responses has worked for me in the past, but this time I think I should respond differently.

Doc, what do you think her intentions are, and how should I respond?

Merlyn - who’s losing his grip a little

Hi Merlyn,

I’m glad you mentioned that you’d become a “better man” after reading my materials. Lots of guys think that my coaching is only about dating, but as you immerse yourself in my techniques, you will become a better person, and the improvements you make will carry over into your business life and your social life, and that means your dealings with both men and women wherever you are and no matter what you’re doing.

And I’m likewise impressed that you’ve come to the realization that believing a woman should accept you as you are is “lame.” You said so much in that sentence, pal. There are lots of guys out there who don’t want to better themselves and who don’t want to cultivate the best parts of themselves. They would rather leave the best parts of themselves out of a relationship and assume that the woman is just going to take them as they are. Like my cousin General Love says, “It goes without saying that the results of this non-strategy are invariably disastrous.” And you said it all when you said only your best self will help you meet the Dating Dictionary’s criteria when it comes to finding and keeping the right woman.

The first and most important thing you have to realize about Rachelle is that SHE LEFT YOU in the first place. She moved away from you, dude. Far away. What kind of relationship did she really expect to have with you? She might have had 95% Interest Level in you, but she had at least 96% Interest Level in her new job. Right then and there you knew that this girl didn’t value you as much as she did her work. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You gotta be number one in the woman’s life. If you ain’t numero uno, then you shouldn’t even be with her.”

Merlyn, your girl didn’t seem to lose interest when you turned into a needy wimp. She DID lose interest. But like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Don’t feel bad about being desperate, whiny and wimpy – 90% of American men act that way when they’re going down.” But it was very strong of you to tell Rachelle that you didn’t want to continue your relationship. The problem is that it wasn’t actually continuing – it was already over.

What went wrong between you two? By your own admission, you were a wuss. See, when the woman’s Interest Level is taking a nosedive, the guy usually decides, “Well then, I’ll just come on heavier!” And it never enters his mind to disappear, which is what he should do. To you Psych majors, it never works to come on heavy with someone who’s not interested in you.

Know why Rachelle got in touch with you? Because she went out with two or three other guys where she lives and it didn’t work out, so she went through her phone book and there was your name. And she said to herself, “Ah – Merlyn! He’s always there. I’ll get in touch with him and see if he’s still in love with me because I need some attention!”

But when she contacted you after two years, you should have told her you were dating two babes right now and that they’re both totally in love with you. And if you really wanted to get to her, you should add that you were confused because both of them are so gorgeous and you don’t know which one to choose.

Sure you had some good memories of your time with Rachelle. But what you should do is write down a list of the bad memories, stick it up on your refrigerator and read it every day.

Rachelle is renewing an old conversation with you because she’s striking out with the other turkeys she meets. She doesn’t say she has feelings for you because she doesn’t, pal. Is she afraid of saying too much before she knows where you stand? Merlyn, by that question alone I know you’re off the deep end. And it tells me how much you don’t know about “The System.”

Should you respond differently this time? What do you want to do — go back to being a wimp? That’s the reason Rachelle dumped you the first time, isn’t it? So that’s the choice you face — go back to being the old Merlyn or be a man. If I were you, I’d tell Rachelle about the great time you’re having with two playboy bunnies.

Remember, guys: you get one shot per girl per lifetime.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I’ve had your book for a few years now, but didn’t follow it enough three years ago when I met my fiancée, Nicole. She was only 19 at the time (she’s 22 now and I’m 26 by the way). She’s going to school in a city that’s pretty far away, and I just graduated from school in another city, so I’m looking for a job where she is now, since she still has two years left before she graduates.

About six months ago, Nicole told me that we should take some time off because she didn’t know what she wanted and felt that something was missing in our relationship. The very next day she changed her mind and I told her that if it ever happens again I wouldn’t talk to her anymore. Things have been great ever since, but yesterday she said she had to tell me something about that day. She admitted that she felt bad and had wanted to tell me this secret all along, but that she never got up the courage. She said that every time I called her “baby” it made her feel horrible about what she did.

Here’s what happened. Just before she needed “time,” Nicole met her ex-boyfriend (her first love) at the park a couple of times and they kissed, but nothing more (I want to believe her, but I’m taking it with a grain of salt). She said that she is extremely sorry about what happened and that she felt like she was going crazy, and that it made her realize how much she wanted me and not him. She also said she regrets what happened big time and wants to marry me more than ever, and that it even helped her to realize that her ex is not for her but that I am. She swears she hasn’t talked to him since.

As she was telling me all this, I pulled out “The System” and read the section on “Betrayal.” I didn’t blow up, but told Nicole that I was very angry. I also told her that if she ever does anything like that again, there would be no more me and her.

Nicole begged me to forgive her, but I told her that I was too angry to think straight, and that I needed to go and sleep on it, and that I’d call her when I woke up. I will try to give her another chance, but I’m wondering how I should go about it. I’m thinking of telling her something like “If you’re absolutely positive that you still want to be with me and marry me, and that you will not ever think about doing something like this again, then I forgive you and we can move on.”

What do you think, Doc?

Primo - who hopes to get back in control

Hi Primo,

Why in the world didn’t you follow what’s in my book when you needed it? You invested in the Dating Dictionary, didn’t you? Some of you guys out there feel that just by having my books in your house, somehow the words will magically fly through the air and nestle between your ears. My friend, learning how to deal with women is a rough, tough practice that takes lots of discipline. So to invest in my book – THE GREATEST TOOL YOU CAN EVER OWN WHEN IT COMES TO DATING AND WOMEN — and not use it is simply unbelievable.

Now let’s look at what’s going on with Nicole. You’ve got two problems here right off the bat. First of all, she’s just a little girl and a ding-dong to boot, and number two, she’s living out of town. So like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Oh, yeah, you’re off to a great start!” Those conditions would be okay if Nicole was deeply in love with you, but like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You can’t trust 22-year-olds, boy!”

Dude, when you hear the words “time off,” you’re done, done, done. DONE. As in FOREVER. And what bothers me most was that you had my book. If you didn’t have the book, I wouldn’t be browbeating you, Primo. But it was sitting on your night stand, and look at what you’ve done here. You had a shot at a hottie and what did you do? You didn’t do what it says to do in my book and now she’s going to walk. It’s over.

This girl might not know what she wants, but she sure as heck knows what she doesn’t want. Of course something was missing in your relationship – her high Interest Level! But the next day she changed her mind. So she’s going to practice the yo-yo now, huh? Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Yo, dawg, why are you even talking to this girl?” Primo, you should do two things right now. One, tell Nicole to forget your name. Two, tell her to forget your phone number.

Things haven’t been great between you and her, man. A girl says she wants time off and according to you, things are great? This girl’s treating you like a human boomerang. How could you possibly like being treated that way? So things aren’t so great. It’s not just an oxymoron — it’s stupid.

Of course Nicole met up with her ex-boyfriend. When a girl is bored, she starts giving out her home phone number to guys, but if there’s no one around she goes back to her first love. They all do it. And of course they kissed – at two in the morning in the back seat of his car! And you’re taking all of this with a grain of salt? You’re giving her a hundred times too much credit, Primo!

You know why Nicole felt like she was going crazy? Because she was with two guys she doesn’t love! But she claims that kissing her ex convinced her that she wanted you and not him. Well, that makes sense — go and make out with some other guy and then you’ll know whom your true love is! Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “That’s perfectly rational.” But like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Next! Maybe Nicole should go kiss the soccer team and see if any of those guys are for her.

Are you sure you read the section on “Betrayal” in my book? It says don’t ever show the girl that you’re angry. And it also says don’t ever have a heavy, serious conversation with her. So you’d better re-read “Betrayal.” It sounds like you missed a few things.

When you told Nicole there wasn’t going to be any more you and her, was that the third or fourth ultimatum? Don’t you know when you’re out, Primo? Or like my cousin General Love says, “What does this girl have to do, burn down your house?”

How can you ever trust this girl? To you Psych majors, YOU CAN’T.

Remember, guys: once they stray, it’s adios, baby.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

Thanks for your wonderful contributions to men!

I’ve been doing business with Felicia for four months. During our meetings at her office, we’ve been flirting with each other. She laughs at every stupid thing I say, we’re always staring at each other, she plays with her hair, likes to whisper secrets in my ears and so on.

I decided to ask her out to dinner to thank her for work well done.
She declined and told me that it was against her company’s rules to accept gifts while business is still being transacted. However, she suggested that we could have dinner in a month when our business was concluded.
Meanwhile, she gave me her cell phone number and requested mine. During conversations with my brother, who is also involved in my business, she was asking personal questions about me.

Recently, Felicia asked me to meet her at a cafe. I went, and even though I was two hours late, she was still there waiting on me. She complimented me on my new hair style and my clothes since that was the first time she ever saw me outside of a business environment. However, while we were discussing my desire to quit smoking, she stated that her boyfriend just recently quit smoking.

This is what I love to refer to as the “B” Bomb. I had no clue! Nevertheless, our meeting went very well, and she suggested that we meet again. Just today I received a call from her asking me to meet her at a landmark of my choice to discuss more business. I suggested that she could come to my house, which she accepted.

Doc, what should I do now? Should I tell her how I really feel about her when she comes to my house? Or should I wait until our business is concluded? And how do I handle the “B” Bomb? I am in love with this gal.
Please help!

Abel - who feels like he has to make his move

Hi Abel,

This is absolutely fantastic! Since you spent time naturally with Felicia and weren’t trying to put the moves on her, she had the opportunity to discover how great you are! And that’s why she’s playing with you now. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “This Kitty Kat is purring!”

It was a good move to offer to take Felicia out for dinner as a reward for work well done. The problem is that you weren’t finished transacting your business with her. The dinner should come after all the work is already done, pal. You tried to close with the reward too soon. As usual, you, like most men, showed no Self-Control. What have I told you guys a thousand times? YOU HAVE TO MOVE IN SLOWLY.

Felicia’s suggestion that you get together for dinner in a month when you’re finally through with business is called a beautiful counter-offer. So what are you going to do? You’re not going to wait a month. You’re going to wait FIVE WEEKS before you call her.

You talked to your brother about this girl? I hope you didn’t tell him anything. Because it’s going to go straight back to her, and you’re going to screw everything up. Like the old Chinese proverb goes, “Even brothers can’t keep their mouths shut, grasshopper!” And like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Didn’t you ever hear the one about Cain and Abel? You best go back to the Good Book, dawg!”

Felicia’s invitation to meet at a cafe was incoming – beautiful! But hold on here. You were two hours late meeting her? How in the world could you be two hours late? If you were supposed to meet this girl at three o’clock, let’s say, you knew at 12:30 you weren’t going to make it. You should have phoned her and called the date off. You don’t leave anybody waiting for two hours, Abel. What I can’t believe is how stupid this girl is for waiting on you! Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Nobody hangs around for two hours — except for the groupies waiting for the guys in the band.”

Felicia’s compliments about your hairdo and duds were more buying signals. Nice. But how the heck did she find out that you smoked? And why in the world are you trumpeting a major flaw in your personality? And not only that, but the filthiest habit you can ever have? Six-fifty a pack, man! The headliner in your car, the ceiling of your house, and your clothes all smell of smoke, and you’re bringing this up and telling this girl that you have this battle going on, this great big conflict inside yourself? I hope you remember to tell her your mouth tastes like an ashtray before you try to kiss her. Why does she know this weakness about you? To you Psych majors, you’re supposed to tell her only the GOOD THINGS. Abel, it’s funny that you compliment me on my contributions to men, but my words go in one ear and out the other.

What you should have said when Felicia dropped her bomb was “You have a boyfriend? I can’t believe it! What a coincidence! Because I have a girlfriend! So tell me about the guy.”

Of course you were clueless about the boyfriend in the background. You’re not supposed to have a clue about this girl’s boyfriend. You don’t know anything about her, pal! You’ve just been doing business with her for four months – you haven’t been prying into her social life.

Despite her boyfriend, she wanted to meet you again. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Well, one thing I can say about this babe is that she’s loaded with loyalty!”

It’s good that Felicia wants to come your house. Now get the maid and the painter in, and make that place look sharp! And while you’re at it, Abel, buy some flowers and deodorizer to kill the smell of all those Camels and Marlboro Lights.

But let me get this straight. You want to tell a girl who has a boyfriend that you like her? What are you thinking, pal? Is what I teach you guys really that complex? Is “The System” just too hard for you to understand?

Abel, if Felicia is calling you and asking you out, she is biting hard. Which means the other guy is on the way out. Or like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “My son, this lady wouldn’t be caught dead in an ethics class!”

So what you’re going to do is go out with Felicia every time she calls you. But you’re not going to ask her out.

Remember, guys: if she has a boyfriend, make sure she chases you – at all times.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.

Hey Doc,

I ordered “The System” a while ago and I like some of the principles. I’m in my mid-30s and have been divorced for two years. Finding a good woman in the 25 to 35 age range is pretty tough because they’re nearly all taken. I’m not much into the bar/club scene, but I do go out two to three times a week.

Anyway, I was at a local bar on Saturday, and met a nice group of girls and hit it off with one in particular. Fiona and I played darts, had a few drinks, and talked for a good three hours by ourselves. I picked up the obvious signals — solid eye-contact, touching my arm and leg, etc. I got her number with no problem, and at the end of the night walked her and her friend home to her friend’s house. When her friend went inside, Fiona turned and kissed me, and told me to call.

I called her the next evening to say I had a good time (I know this goes against your rules, but I figure she’s onto them and all the other men’s techniques, and I wanted to show her I can think for myself). I got no return call, so I called again four days later. After playing phone tag, we finally connected. She said she couldn’t get together on the weekend because she had to work on Friday and had a graduation to attend on Saturday.

Here’s the thing — I’m 14 years older than Fiona and she lives 90 miles away. The age thing is no big deal because she’s pretty mature for her age and probably appreciates a more mature guy. But the distance makes it hard to set up a date, since we can’t exactly go and grab a drink for 45 minutes. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s into “The Rules” and is playing hard to get. Like I said, it’s clear that she’s interested in me. She was also was very clear that she does NOT have a boyfriend, and she returned my call. But HOW DO I LAND THAT DATE? Should I wait a week to call back, and try to set up a Monday or Tuesday date? I don’t want to wait too long — out of sight, out of mind. Any coaching would help. Thanks!

Horst - who doesn’t know how to operate from a distance

Hi Horst,

Hold it right here. I don’t care what rules you like. I appreciate you buying my book, but it’s not something you toss aside after a few pages – it’s a lifetime INVESTMENT. So it means you have to INVEST your time and effort into bettering yourself and you can’t cherry-pick the principles. You have to follow my techniques from A to Z. To you Psych majors, you can’t leave any room for error when you’re not an expert on women. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “No short-cuts dog. Remember what happened to you the last time!”

So, you’re divorced for two years. Did you figure out yet why your wife dumped you, Horst? I hope so, because if you didn’t, you can bet it’s going to happen to you again.

Yes, it’s true that women in that choice age range are nearly all taken. But guess what? You only need one. But you’re not ready to land that great one, Horst, because you haven’t done your homework.

How the heck can you say you’re not into the club scene? You go out to a gin mill three times a week and you’re not into it? Okay, so you blabbed for three whole hours to this girl the first time you met her. What have I told you guys in the past? You spend 30 to 45 minutes MAX the first time you meet. Get the home phone number and get out of there. You spent way too much time with this girl. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “When you hang around her for too long, you increase your chances exponentially of screwing it up.”

Horst, you tried to rush it like most men who have no Self-Control. And that wasn’t the only blunder you committed, dude — you were on a group date in case you hadn’t noticed.

But she kissed you and told you to call her, and you put a lot of stock in that. Fabulous — so far. Did you do your disappearing act? No, you didn’t. You called Fiona the very next evening. Why? Where was the fire? When I have to look up “telephone blunders” in the dictionary, will I find your picture there?

What do you mean she’s on to all the men’s techniques? How do you know what’s going on in this girl’s head? You’re out with a complete stranger for three hours and you know everything about her? You don’t know anything about this woman, buddy! What do you have, a crystal ball? Don’t forget where you were when you were rapping with her – in a saloon full of smoke with everyone half in the bag.

Know why Fiona didn’t call you back when you phoned her? Because she loves you, guy, it’s obvious. She had more excuses than Barry Bonds has homers why she couldn’t get together with you. She’s busy Friday. She’s busy Saturday. Like my cousin General Love says, “And she’s probably working on her helicopter on Sunday!”

You’re not 14 years older than Fiona, my friend. You’re 14, period. You act like a 14-year-old around this girl. And she lives 90 miles away. Great! So you’ve got a girl who doesn’t like you and who lives on the other side of the world! Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This is destined for success!”

By the way – how do you know Fiona appreciates more mature guys? She might be into 19-year-old guitar players for all you know. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “I haven’t seen a woman yet who isn’t!”

Your problem isn’t distance, pal. Your problem is that you don’t know the first thing about women. And you’ve got a book on handling them that you’ve never read.

But you maintain that Fiona’s into the rules and is playing hard to get. Tell you what, Horst. Every time you say “The Rules,” substitute the words “LOW INTEREST LEVEL” instead.

On top of it all, you’re dating a yo-yo here, man. But I’ll do my best to help you. If you insist on driving 90 miles in one direction to see a loony tune, here’s what you do. Set the date two weeks from now. Tell Fiona you want to come to town and see her. Make it for a Sunday at 12:30 for lunch and you’ll meet her at the restaurant. When she doesn’t show up, you can turn right around and drive the 90 miles home. Then you’ll say “Gee, Doc’s right!”

Remember, guys: the closer they live, the easier it is.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions or to find out more about “The System,” visit me at www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. For the past 30 years Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?”

© Copyright 2007 DocLove DotCom, Inc.