Posted: admin on Jul 15 | Russian Brides, Russian Dating, Ukraine
By Irina Timchenko
These days, when the arrangements for tour of men to Ukraine are taking place, we receive many questions from our web-site visitors, asking to advise what can be done to avoid shyness and misunderstanding when women and men representing different cultures meet for the first time.
We are happy to try and help you find ways to over some these difficulties. Though individual decisions are always unique, we can offer some common tips which might help.
Meeting a new person is always a challenge - whether you are meeting your potential boss, or negotiating the price of a house, or choosing your future husband or wife. The first thing that breaks your concentration and hampers decision-making is the feeling of responsibility. You are afraid of taking new obligations, especially when you feel it may cause irreversible changes in your life.
To avoid this feeling, do the following:
1. Try to relax - this is only the first meeting, nobody makes you take “fatal” decisions.
2. Take an objective look at the person you are facing. Look at him/her the way you watch actors in movies - impersonally. Make up memory notes about what you definitely like (and dislike) about the person.
3. Be yourself - don’t try to look better or worse than you are - this may cause in objective opinion about you.
4. Do not suppress your personal (national, cultural) manners or habits. You’d better let the other person know about them in the very beginning of relationship. At the same time - try to notice and analyze the manners and behavior of the person.
5. Try not to make any definite opinions at the first meeting - leave yourself some space to step back - your first impression may be wrong.
6. Definitely - do not trust about the person upon his/her appearance - cultural differences in wearing things, styles and fashions are very different!
7. Make up your first notes about the person’s character. Use simple scale:
kind - aggressive;
emotional - reserved;
open - buttoned up;
generous - economical;
energetic - slow;
impulsive - pedantic;
Again do not make any stable opinions. Later this evening, at home, you will recollect all these first-time notes, and compare them to your own character.
8. Do not provoke the person you are facing for the first time in your life with open questions, like “How much do you earn?” or “How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?”
9. If you notice something unexpected, unusual, untraditional or simply - different from your vision of it - do not hurry to evaluate the person as impolite, impudent, ill-mannered or ignorant - remember, you represent different cultures! Simply calm down, and try to analyze this little episode later, without emotions.
10. Do not forget the rule that you will always have to follow in future - there is no happy family life without concessions made by both sides on their way to advance each other.
We might continue this list, but “too much psychology can cause pathology.” Let us look at popular “first-time-meeting tips” people invent to understand each other in everyday life.
We would like to offer you a translation of a short humorous composition, which belongs to a brilliant Russian humorous writer Michail Zhvanetsky. Though national humor can hardly be translated well enough to be understood internationally, we believe this witty narration is a good answer to many questions that may cause intercultural misunderstanding between men and women, for the one who knows Women’s language can take the pleasures of women’s’ attention.
Women’s Language!
“Everything becomes so clear when one understands women’s language! Look for yourselves.
A woman in a subway carriage. Silent and calm. A ring on her right hand. Her eyes say - “Married. No chance”. Nobody pays attention.
A ring on the left hand - “Divorced. Don’t even try. I’m too tired after the first marriage”.
Two rings on the left hand - “Divorced two times”.
A ring on the right hand, a Women’s Language! ring on the left hand - “Married two times, the second time successfully”.
A ring on the right hand and earrings - “Married, but not satisfied”.
Two rings on the right hand, and earrings - “Married, but there is a man… Both of us married. Both dissatisfied”.
A ring on the right hand, and an earring - “Well, I am married, but…”
A ring on the left, a ring on the right, earrings, a brooch - “Well, I am a waitress…”
Sunglasses, rings, a brooch, a rich blond wig, platform-shoes, huge watch on a chain - bar-owner in “DeLuxe” restaurant - “no husband, no taste, no man. Every drinking, eating, smoking, standing or lying man causes sharp impulse of sickness. Huge apartment in the city center. Four telephones ring endlessly. A crystal chandelier in toilet room, a tap in form of bear’s head with hot water running from its mouth in bathroom. Needs a man with a broom, duster and female-looking shapely figure.”
No earrings, jeans, sea-shells-necklace, cotton sack across the shoulder, bitten nails, mysterious legs - a self-concentrated artist. Responds to a talk about Orthodox faith and monasteries. So deeply obsessed with her Self that no one else can get inside…”
Diamonds, long neck, beautiful hairstyle, strong legs - “The Bolshoy Theatre Ballet- dancer. Any talk is useless. “No chance, boy. My car is faster. Don’t even try to catch up.”
A ring on the right hand, plain hairstyle, dark suit< white blouse, cheap cigarette in mouth - “Good morning, comrade, have you come to join our party?”
A ring on the right hand, neat blondish head, green woolen suit, modest brown shoes and wonderful light coming from mild grey eyes - “this is your wife, you, blockhead!”